shower thoughts 🚿

a poem

there are thoughts in the water

i need to catch them—

no. drown in them.

no. i need to get away.

i’m afraid they’ll spiral down the drain

with the rest of me;

if i don’t paint with them

they’ll condense,

they will

evaporate.

i’m afraid to step out

and leave pieces of me behind.

i’m afraid

of every threshold i cross;

what will be lost

this time?

everything i need to do—

poetry gets in the way

and i can’t stop it—

i wish i didn’t have to try.

the burdens of life

mineralize in the pipes

slowing output to a trickle.

and it takes too long to rinse off the dread;

knowing i’ll have to get out

and moisturize

all the parts of my life i don’t like

(especially the parts i don’t like);

parts which don’t feel deserving of

goat’s milk and almond oil.

i have to scrub and touch a lot of

hated things—

before they start behaving

like loved things.

just hoping i don’t slip

on all these thoughts i can’t seem to

integrate.

“Burnout” acrylic on canvas by me. I think this one was 18”x 24”

thank you for reading 🖤

em

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